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nukeacat

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nukeacat
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1488
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

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nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16174) - you deserved it (1906)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (1160)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

#19871781
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6166) - you deserved it (19562)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by rs (woman) - Egypt

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

#19871272
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17429) - you deserved it (1306)

On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19544) - you deserved it (2716)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

#19868224
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40328) - you deserved it (2302)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (3754)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (3754)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (3754)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

#19867617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10391) - you deserved it (13347)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16455) - you deserved it (4525)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

#19861588
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (1681)

On 06/28/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

#19860691
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (2927)

On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States

Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML

#19847645
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30624) - you deserved it (2066)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:55pm - money - by stolen-car - United States (South Carolina)



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