About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (3566)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (3566)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9125) - you deserved it (9736)
On 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15839) - you deserved it (4462)
On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22951) - you deserved it (1263)
On 06/28/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18636) - you deserved it (2894)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States
Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (1552)
On 06/25/2012 at 10:55pm - money - by stolen-car - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17298) - you deserved it (1073)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17028) - you deserved it (860)
On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (1847)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25489) - you deserved it (3678)
On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23174) - you deserved it (3051) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23174) - you deserved it (3051) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (2863)
On 05/27/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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