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nukeacat

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nukeacat
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1493
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

#19915289
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6211) - you deserved it (13920)

On 07/09/2012 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

#19914869
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19409) - you deserved it (1332)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

#19914147
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (9963)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:09am - love - by randomguy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

#19910434
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5543) - you deserved it (34082) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2012 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16705) - you deserved it (6382)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (1391)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML

#19905644
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10439) - you deserved it (23452)

On 07/07/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by Ali - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18772) - you deserved it (5679)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3396)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18271) - you deserved it (6893)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58972) - you deserved it (4705)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58972) - you deserved it (4705)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9883) - you deserved it (22892)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (2157)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while taking the trash out, the old cranky elevator in my apartment complex finally gave up on life. For a long hour I was stuck between floors 4 and 5, practically embracing my bio-waste can. FML



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