About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12927) - you deserved it (2508)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -
Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3722) - you deserved it (35101)
On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)
Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (1461)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (6366)
On 07/22/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by whymegirl - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16569) - you deserved it (2188)
On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16569) - you deserved it (2188)
On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14377) - you deserved it (1346)
On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13459) - you deserved it (17791)
On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16070) - you deserved it (1104)
On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17513) - you deserved it (3983)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19456) - you deserved it (2061)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16102) - you deserved it (2349)
On 07/19/2012 at 11:55am - love - by InsomniacToBe - United States (Utah)
Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14864) - you deserved it (1077)
On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (1688)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4465) - you deserved it (51345)
On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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