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nukeacat

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nukeacat
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1506
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (1915)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (1906)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

#19980789
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9137) - you deserved it (17549)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:10am - animals - by screw the cat (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

#19980776
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (6375)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML

#19980407
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8476) - you deserved it (15184)

On 07/23/2012 at 10:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22851) - you deserved it (9932)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

#19980162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19919) - you deserved it (1793)

On 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm - love - by Rose (woman) - United States

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5313) - you deserved it (49424)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (4605)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

#19979543
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14705) - you deserved it (5099)

On 07/23/2012 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (3106)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

#19978761
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (2667)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:31am - animals - by Lola -

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

#19977133
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13439) - you deserved it (2553)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

#19976445
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3832) - you deserved it (36060)

On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)



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