About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.
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nukeacat's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
by first time at McDonald's in months... / 03/27/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Health
by BaliTheDog / 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm / France / Animals
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals
by WTFLY / 03/23/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML
by wowthanksworld / 03/22/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Transportation
by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2013 at 6:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by inconnue / 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2013 at 7:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by lonely girl / 03/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 10:47pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall / 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Love
- Today, a bug flew into my eye. Two hours later I picked "sleep" out of my eye. It was all black and… Today, as i was wrestling my girlfriend, i had told her I'd go really easy on her because i did not… Today, I got my new birth control implanted in my arm. The resulting bruise is in the exact shape…