Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nukeacat

Search for a member

nukeacat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1749
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

nukeacat's page activity

Visits<b>LaCary</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 9:57pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 12:26pm<b>unicornboners</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Capt_Oblivious</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 4:53am<b>tralala453</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:09am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 10:00pm<b>cmayer</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 10:11pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 11:49am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:35am<b>maddyharris97</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 10:26pm<b>klaralynn</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:08pm<b>ilovedinosawers</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 6:53pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:19pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:48pm<b>firexsnow1</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 10:41pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 7:02am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:02am<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 1:58am

nukeacat's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of nukeacat's badges

nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

#20615089
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45463) - you deserved it (3736)

On 04/23/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49468) - you deserved it (8063)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (111430)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41003) - you deserved it (6553)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55179) - you deserved it (3691)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47922) - you deserved it (4865)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68399) - you deserved it (10865)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

#20577445
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40041) - you deserved it (3175)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51127) - you deserved it (5641)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44965) - you deserved it (7834)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (2578)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

#20575584
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28303) - you deserved it (6111)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:20am - work - by torturedears (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34071) - you deserved it (11026)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

#20574572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45667) - you deserved it (3801)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39984) - you deserved it (4415)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: