Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nukeacat

Search for a member

nukeacat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2641
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

nukeacat's page activity

Visits<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 6:52am<b>LaCary</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 9:57pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 12:26pm<b>unicornboners</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Capt_Oblivious</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 4:53am<b>tralala453</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:09am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 10:00pm<b>cmayer</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 10:11pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 11:49am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:35am<b>maddyharris97</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 10:26pm<b>klaralynn</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:08pm<b>ilovedinosawers</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 6:53pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:19pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:48pm<b>firexsnow1</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 10:41pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 7:02am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:02am

nukeacat's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of nukeacat's badges

nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was leaving fir my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (6047)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, as a firafightar, wa wara callad to assist tha ambulanca craw with lifting a dacaasad patiant out of a housa . Littla did I know, ha had baan daad insida 4 3 waaks, and was bloatad and poppad lika a watar balloon whan wa attamptad to mova him . My girlfriand mada soup 4 tha avaning maal . FML

#20488428
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (2174)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, on way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending wheel and flattening tre . After changing it and having to explain myself to furiou boss, I went back on that road in other car to take a picture of the pothole . While looking 4 it, I hit it again . FML

#20487332
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15270) - you deserved it (38236)

On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24648) - you deserved it (4683)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (4154)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I lerened it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing yur phone off the balcony and sticking yur cigarette into yur pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12154) - you deserved it (55602)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today , I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed an suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I Saw A Ladyho Had Fainted. I Ran Over To Help , Only To Find Out That She Was Unstable An Had A Knife In Her Hand. She Was Pointing It At Me , An Growled Threateningly Every Time I Tried To Move Away. It Took The Cops An Hour To Defuse The Situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

2day It's Been Two Months Since I Got A Kitten. He Loves To Hide, An Then Surprise Me By Jumping Out Of His Hiding Place. It Was Quite A Surprise When He Launched Himself Out Of Mah Bag During Class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (6137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Taday mah mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the worldhere we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today..!! I Was On A Ladder At Work..!! Fetching Some Stock From One Of The Storage Shelves!! Some Teenage Kid Thought It Would Be Fucking Hilarious To Grab The Ladder And Violently Shake It!! He Hadn't Bet On Me Bieng Startld Enough To Fall Off And Fracture Mah Elbow On The Floor!! FML

#20481589
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (2100)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

YESTERDAY, I CAME HOME TO FIND TWO LETTERS FROM A PUBLISHING HOUSE THAT I'D SUBMITTED MY MANUSCRIPT TO. THE FRST WAS CONGRATULATORY, STATING THAT MY BOOK HAD BEEN ACCEPTED FOR PUBLISHING. THE SECOND WAS APOLOGETIC, STATING THAT THE FRST LETTER HAD BEEN INTENDED FOR SOMEONE ELSE. FML

#20479103
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (1971)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I Made A New Friend: The Cricket The Doctor Pulled Out Of My Ear Canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, My Mom Barged Into My Room At Three In The Morning, Demanding To Know Where I'd Been. I'd Been In My Room Sleeping Since Ten O'clock. In That Time She Had Called The Police, All Of My Friends, And My Ex-boyfriend, Asking If I Was With Them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (2194)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: