About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.
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nukeacat's favorite FMLs
by Edgarillo / 02/14/2013 at 2:59am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous
by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by shots shots shots / 02/12/2013 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Health
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML
by theydidsmellitthough / 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:12am / United States / Kids
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm / Australia / Love
- Today, my two moms were telling some fairly obscene jokes about their sex life. When I told them to… Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why?… Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while…