About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.
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nukeacat's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
by peallow / 05/12/2013 at 1:01am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
by Baikal / 05/12/2013 at 12:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2013 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Bridget / 05/11/2013 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
by o___O" / 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML
by paintfarts1976 / 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm / Ireland (Westmeath) / Love
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by rachelllynne / 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
by Uwrongfodat / 05/09/2013 at 6:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML
by fml0505 / 05/09/2013 at 2:49am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Wyoming) / Money
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML
by lalalaisling / 05/08/2013 at 12:21pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
by oops / 05/08/2013 at 10:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
- Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday,… Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only… Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of…
- Today, I woke up to my head being covered by a pissy diaper, a pile of pee not even an inch from my… Today, early in the morning, I went to the store for a few things. The doors wide open, I gather my… Today, I work as a Cashier at McDonald's and a customer wanted a meal costing way over £5. He then…