Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

noway1987

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

noway1987

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 272
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About noway1987 : Young, Salvadoran, Fun, outgoing, living life to the fullest with no regrets anything else just ask

noway1987's page activity

Visits<b>Silly_Lilly6969</b> - 23 hours ago<b>SalviBarbie</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:01am<b>Xotoolyxo</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:50pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 3:13am<b>auro7</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:52pm<b>alice_in_mordor</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 10:08am<b>yagurlmb</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 4:20am<b>chelsss3</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 12:12am<b>bethany130666</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 11:42pm<b>TayonaC</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 4:25pm<b>Danielle7994</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 1:13am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 10:15pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 5:57pm<b>chanellgymnast</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 2:13pm<b>Mariella1996</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 1:50pm<b>bambi1989</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 12:47pm<b>rachel_h</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 10:05am

noway1987's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of noway1987's badges

noway1987's favorite FMLs

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36073) - you deserved it (4386)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35850) - you deserved it (16030)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36134) - you deserved it (2581)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

#21006475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41696) - you deserved it (5382)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by William Johnson - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62491) - you deserved it (13658)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59117) - you deserved it (5974)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39928) - you deserved it (5179)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (5399)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (3340)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

#6195343
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46678) - you deserved it (4238)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm - misc - by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

#5163523
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14058) - you deserved it (34363)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:25am - intimacy - by wallflower (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

#3211870
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (69994)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: