Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

noway1987

Offline (the 04/11/2015 at 10:05pm) | Search for a member

noway1987

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 893
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About noway1987 : Young, Salvadoran, Fun, outgoing, living life to the fullest with no regrets anything else just ask

noway1987's page activity

Visits<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:00pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:26am<b>rachgrrr19</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:52am<b>MissWhitneyB</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:47pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 6:17am<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:50pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:46pm<b>appletreee</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:28pm<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:03pm<b>brasiliano</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:44pm<b>xninix</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:31am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 6:47pm<b>illusong</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:35am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:21am<b>madridista14</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Armygirl93</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 8:06pm<b>brim826</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 3:19pm<b>BingerGitch</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 5:10pm

noway1987's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of noway1987's badges

noway1987's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

#21383831
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (2275)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43634) - you deserved it (2939)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (3579)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (2183)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

#21379759
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30532) - you deserved it (3044)

On 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm - kids - by Mary C. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

#21379703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (30)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

#21379555
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (2523)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (3534)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (2982)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

#21379056
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28470) - you deserved it (3546)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24454) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (2152)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: