noway1987

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/03/2015 at 8:54pm)

noway1987

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 October 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2622
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About noway1987 : Young, Salvadoran, Fun, outgoing, living life to the fullest with no regrets anything else just ask

noway1987's page activity

Visits<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:56pm<b>Patriot1287</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:51pm<b>that_one_guy4</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:58pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:41am<b>sorainu</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:05am<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 4:15pm<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:00pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:26am<b>rachgrrr19</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:52am<b>MissWhitneyB</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:47pm<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:50pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:46pm<b>appletreee</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:28pm<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:03pm<b>brasiliano</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:44pm<b>xninix</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:31am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 6:47pm<b>illusong</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:35am

Fucked!<b>sorainu</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 2:05pm

noway1987's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of noway1987's badges

noway1987's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 12:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

by Just wanted a cigarette / 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

by Oopsie / 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

by PupZilla / 07/02/2015 at 10:08am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

by sexisntfun / 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

by mareecasellafml / 03/27/2015 at 5:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML

by Anonyme / 03/27/2015 at 5:50am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML

by Anonyme / 03/27/2015 at 5:50am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

by cherokeems / 03/26/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

by Mary C. / 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

by dicedicebaby / 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous