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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
It’s in the can
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nourHERE's favorite FMLs
Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
by ThanksMom / 07/08/2016 at 3:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my dad about my new diet. He somehow figured I was only doing it to look more attractive to guys, because he told me my weight is fine and that it's just my personality that needs work. Thanks a lot, Dad. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 8:39am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML
by Babyhazy / 06/05/2016 at 5:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by hakuna_matata / 12/30/2015 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
by smyp / 12/24/2015 at 12:34pm / Lithuania / Love
by AustrianCow / 12/22/2015 at 4:45pm / Austria (Oberosterreich) / Love
by BadLuck / 12/21/2015 at 6:45am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Kids
Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML
by anonymous / 12/09/2015 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML
by meg__1798 / 12/08/2015 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML
by Lala / 12/08/2015 at 3:30am / United States (Colorado) / Money
by badbitch23 / 12/07/2015 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by jimmy / 11/30/2015 at 4:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous