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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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notsocrafty

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notsocrafty
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2278
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About notsocrafty : Just an average lad.

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notsocrafty's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

#6430848 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (16197) - you deserved it (5132)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:03am - health - by cc (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

#5425819 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (32347)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML

#5286391 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (2820)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (19313) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (12730)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (11325)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (8820)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52118) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (41550) - you deserved it (4939)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (47896) - you deserved it (6375)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087 (411)

I agree, your life sucks (56420) - you deserved it (11333)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the Polish border when I found my passport was gone. I contacted the last place I stayed at and the owner said he would handle it. I reluctantly agreed as I was being charged international rates. Apparently, "taking care of it" means telling the embassy I'm retarded. FML

#4176027 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (26298) - you deserved it (4203)

On 07/31/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML

#4159325 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (4700)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by VelocityMary (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

#4158714 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (2854)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (30378) - you deserved it (2674)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew