About notjanedoe : Nothing to see here. do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Mobility
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86276) - you deserved it (3210)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (3576)
On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31819) - you deserved it (4578)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32264) - you deserved it (2821)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States
Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30671) - you deserved it (14296)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ohfuckwaffles (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27534) - you deserved it (1961)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23398) - you deserved it (2073)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (2503)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19474) - you deserved it (1675)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4165) - you deserved it (19851)
On 02/11/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by SummersEve (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14328) - you deserved it (1281)
On 02/11/2010 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by yourstruly - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35344) - you deserved it (2226)
On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14203) - you deserved it (4441)
On 02/11/2010 at 12:13am - work - by brit - United States (Colorado)
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (5799)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Monday 20 May 2013
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