notjanedoe

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notjanedoe

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 December 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1565
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About notjanedoe : Nothing to see here. do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

notjanedoe's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:45pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:15pm<b>JayL80</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:42am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:16pm<b>lemmegetsumpizza</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:13am<b>Siehnados</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:25am<b>Mafia_</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:54pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:29pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:04pm<b>TheKingy1991</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:31am<b>Chris_Nuwen</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:43am<b>batah</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:02am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:34am<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:38am<b>Monster27</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:15pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 6:31pm<b>freedomna</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:52pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:45pm

notjanedoe's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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notjanedoe's favorite FMLs

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

by Lepisma / 06/26/2013 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

by Coolios / 06/24/2013 at 10:16am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

by Coolios / 06/24/2013 at 10:16am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

by NYCproblems / 06/24/2013 at 10:06am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

by Becckzfizz / 06/20/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

by what_the_hell / 06/20/2013 at 4:35am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Money

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

by cherbear1000 / 06/17/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 8:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

by FireoftheFuture / 05/02/2013 at 7:02am / United States / Work

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.