Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

notjanedoe

Search for a member

notjanedoe

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 December 1980 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 717
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About notjanedoe : Nothing to see here. do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

notjanedoe's page activity

Visits<b>batah</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:02am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:34am<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:38am<b>Monster27</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:15pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 6:31pm<b>freedomna</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:52pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 4:06am<b>reapper9000</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 6:20am<b>MTLCH</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 9:25pm<b>secretsexy23</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 5:34pm<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm<b>Quiltme00</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 2:49pm<b>PrinceofTennis</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 7:23pm<b>coleiab125</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:28pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 4:01pm<b>favone123</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 11:35am<b>Mademoiselle</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 12:45am<b>rwil90</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 7:23pm

notjanedoe's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of notjanedoe's badges

notjanedoe's favorite FMLs

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57805) - you deserved it (3505)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57805) - you deserved it (3505)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43709) - you deserved it (4352)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36887) - you deserved it (8669)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77871) - you deserved it (7074)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58482) - you deserved it (3808)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

#20736762
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48776) - you deserved it (3144)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46348) - you deserved it (4708)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41688) - you deserved it (19887)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

#20730678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41379) - you deserved it (5183)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by cherbear1000 - United States (Maryland)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39098) - you deserved it (9721)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (49967)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: