[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

notime2wait

Search for a member

notime2wait
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 607
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

notime2wait's last visitors

Freeze

notime2wait's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

notime2wait's favorite FMLs

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

#6660964 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (10597) - you deserved it (30104)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

#6335196 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (22333) - you deserved it (1030)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend decided to be romantic and literally sweep me off my feet... directly into a door frame. Now my face is bruised, and the police officer at my school has asked me if I need to make a report about anything. FML

#6332669 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (16995) - you deserved it (1301)

On 11/16/2009 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137105) - you deserved it (19621)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1233)

I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (473911)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167984) - you deserved it (51071)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141745) - you deserved it (53046)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

02/10/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, the book

Available NOW on:

© 2008-2012 by