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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9167) - you deserved it (45668)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had an appraisal meeting with the Boss. She raved and gushed and told me what a great job I was doing. Then she said "Well done, Eric". Eric is not my name. She froze, opened a new file and told me my actual appraisal, which was the complete opposite of everything she had just said. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43263) - you deserved it (5098)
On 04/23/2009 at 1:22am - work - by raynbowsend (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50971) - you deserved it (8198)
On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63162) - you deserved it (12498)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by BerryRockstar (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (75196)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59979) - you deserved it (16701)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64768) - you deserved it (3421)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (108777) - you deserved it (10724)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43733) - you deserved it (3663)
On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54056) - you deserved it (10194)
On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40494) - you deserved it (7122)
On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84469) - you deserved it (4036)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (130586) - you deserved it (6549)
On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59828) - you deserved it (7501)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39946) - you deserved it (16878)
On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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