Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

not_ur_mexican

Search for a member

not_ur_mexican
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 29982
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

not_ur_mexican's last visitors

FreezeleveragedCuervo23tammie_leighh_xxMyzticHydradrainyou123OlihimeZwischeeggnog_00

not_ur_mexican's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

not_ur_mexican's favorite FMLs

Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML

#4506160
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47094) - you deserved it (5354)

On 08/13/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by rick (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (58207)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9633) - you deserved it (37946)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML

#2626905
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39586) - you deserved it (18699)

On 06/05/2009 at 9:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55531) - you deserved it (7412)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

#2271670
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43787) - you deserved it (2707)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:14am - work - by EMT_Koulianos (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

#2270711
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32910) - you deserved it (8086)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by MandyPanda (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

#2241699
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68577) - you deserved it (3723)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13681) - you deserved it (110344)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52270) - you deserved it (41153)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

#2203706
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45175) - you deserved it (7158)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:43am - love - by Mel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

#1807678
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42926) - you deserved it (7181)

On 05/10/2009 at 9:18am - kids - by thesitter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63688) - you deserved it (33786)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126030) - you deserved it (11793)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: