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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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not_ur_mexican

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not_ur_mexican
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 August 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 29051
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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not_ur_mexican's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (8890) - you deserved it (20783)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

#7231026 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (18896) - you deserved it (4908)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:16am - misc - by Snowin2007 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (12367) - you deserved it (19238)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

#6751631 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (17589) - you deserved it (3324)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:06pm - love - by Mojo (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (5756)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

#6546053 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (9605) - you deserved it (19990)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by helper (man) - Costa Rica (Heredia)

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

#5971275 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (4179)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66552) - you deserved it (9418)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

#5735299 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (4957) - you deserved it (30290)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (39032) - you deserved it (1353)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I skipped class to take the girl I like to the airport, and after giving her a goodbye hug I kissed her on the cheek. She laughed and said "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML

#5030993 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (4833)

On 09/03/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by strikeout (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML

#4949959 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (35275) - you deserved it (1477)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by soaked (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (44800) - you deserved it (3099)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (10215) - you deserved it (47760)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)