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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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nonentity21

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nonentity21
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  • Number of visits : 1287
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (36223) - you deserved it (2881)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

#9104990 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (2744)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (23342) - you deserved it (4717)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (15359) - you deserved it (14939)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33667) - you deserved it (6912)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (6540) - you deserved it (25417)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

#8663559 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (4879) - you deserved it (21206)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm - misc - by mathhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (17038) - you deserved it (5686)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (16733) - you deserved it (2646)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

#8623165 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18058) - you deserved it (2634)

On 02/24/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by Jill - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26948) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML

#8069688 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (21583) - you deserved it (2212)

On 02/09/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML

#8011432 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (6066) - you deserved it (17155)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (5943)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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