Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nolarboot

Search for a member

nolarboot
  • Town/Country : , Earth
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 516
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nolarboot : I'm just a typical guy, really. Or am I atypical? I'm not sure yet.

Anyway, I guess I'll follow the cool kids and make a list of people whose comments I enjoy. But not yet. :)

nolarboot's last visitors

Hilda_xcdw2014sarah1024R3TROxLOV3EllaJSwiftiemariepastygluedead_insectsMiranda_FKruitdamp

nolarboot's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of nolarboot's badges

nolarboot's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

#18458873
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (3438)

On 12/08/2011 at 5:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

#18440924
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (5755)

On 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by smileytheface - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend's response to my question about where our relationship was going was, "Let me check what my Celtic Runes have to say about it." FML

#18434296
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19402) - you deserved it (3395)

On 12/05/2011 at 3:05am - love - by me - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (42541)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17670) - you deserved it (40211)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17698) - you deserved it (2106)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49689)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML

#18239107
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17385) - you deserved it (19003)

On 11/13/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

#18229715
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24030) - you deserved it (3802)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML

#18201321
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35961) - you deserved it (2940)

On 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Romania (Mures)

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

#18198070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (1931)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

#18198042
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27205) - you deserved it (2148)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27161) - you deserved it (4925)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

#17958014
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (5061)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:32am - love - by poopooppachuu - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: