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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (9608)
On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States
Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25840) - you deserved it (1586)
On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16232) - you deserved it (5925)
On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (3221)
On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (4569)
On 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9493) - you deserved it (25310)
On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (9992) - you deserved it (16044)
On 10/09/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Kiimmy (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48552) - you deserved it (9807)
On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (2271)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I realized my girlfriend has more hair on her abdomen than I have on mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18949) - you deserved it (4249)
On 02/03/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by cogu - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80752) - you deserved it (8452)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7915) - you deserved it (23139)
On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19666) - you deserved it (22967)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23277) - you deserved it (2939)
On 01/08/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (3736)
On 11/05/2009 at 1:41am - love - by dumper - United States
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