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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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nirvan5a

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nirvan5a
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2230
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nirvan5a's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

#196936 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (40717) - you deserved it (31340)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (54153) - you deserved it (23602)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

#194892 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (5631) - you deserved it (68446)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

#194587 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (60308) - you deserved it (15529)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

#194436 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (10300) - you deserved it (53806)

On 03/03/2009 at 9:55am - work - by Peter80 (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (103562)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML

#184275 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (38388) - you deserved it (4981)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:58pm - work - by kimosabe (woman) - United States (Idaho)