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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2710
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nirvan5a's page activity

Visits<b>harleyivy</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 1:10am<b>XxeftxX</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:13am<b>KapralCat</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:39pm<b>Randomperson13</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:48pm<b>klovemachine</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 11:30pm<b>Sarah__917</b> - the 06/27/2012 at 1:19am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:19am<b>jisaac09</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 12:09pm<b>Mulberry</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 6:45pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/14/2009 at 1:05pm<b>plexico</b> - the 08/10/2009 at 1:24pm<b>ZuRG</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 9:09am<b>skiz</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 8:26am<b>GongButterfly</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 11:40pm<b>Hamzilla</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 8:33am<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 1:11pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 11:56am<b>AsleepOrDead</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 9:35am

nirvan5a's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

nirvan5a's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

by Fat Dad / 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

by Sal / 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

by noway6000 / 03/03/2009 at 11:49am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

by asdfasdf / 03/03/2009 at 10:38am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

by Peter80 / 03/03/2009 at 9:55am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Work

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

by imanidiot / 03/03/2009 at 1:29am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML

by kimosabe / 03/02/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Idaho) / Work