About ninjaCarebear : I made this account when I was about 11 so sorry for the horrible name. I'm on here quite a bit quietly voting in the shadows.
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ninjaCarebear's favorite FMLs
by whymyliferose / 06/03/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by AndieApocalypse / 06/03/2011 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by amf / 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work
Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
by corn / 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by fuck / 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML
by jsalmons / 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
by raebelle / 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm / United States / Health
by brittaneejanex / 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm / United States / Animals
Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
by satisfied88 / 06/02/2011 at 10:49am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
by ohcrap / 06/02/2011 at 6:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, I was released from hospital after being in a car accident. I used the phone book to call people I know to get a ride home, as my wallet and cellphone were still in the wrecked car. I had called my mom to come get me, but her response was "I don't feel like it." I live with her. FML
by thanksmom / 06/02/2011 at 5:27am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head…