Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ninjaCarebear

Search for a member

ninjaCarebear
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 July 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 4537
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About ninjaCarebear : I made this account when I was about 11 so sorry for the horrible name guys. I like playing sports, swimming, and riding horses. I'm a band teachers daughter so I play a few instruments like bass, guitar, piano, oboe, drums, and I used to play violin. On the track to learn many more. I'm on here quite a bit quietly voting in the shadows. I hope to be a psychiatrist or medical doctor when I'm older. I love school, art, and marching band. I love boating, riding ATVs, cars, and motorcycles. I have 10 chickens and hope to get fainting goats. okay that's enough.

ninjaCarebear's last visitors

Wizardoweveallbeentheretbro47REALAfroningajunkman6MichellinManWelshiteAliceLiddelAlexRenmFUNdo21

ninjaCarebear's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ninjaCarebear's badges

ninjaCarebear's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

#16432657
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (4576)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:44am - health - by mrsekko - United States

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (60901)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (60901)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, while at work, a rather large woman came in and ordered a cheeseburger. When asking if she would like to supersize it, she took her purse, smacked me, and told me she wasn't fat, and how rude I was for calling her supersized. I was just doing my job. FML

#16430748
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (3953)

On 05/31/2011 at 2:49am - work - by Me - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

#16429286
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15349) - you deserved it (32358)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:51am - love - by romantic84 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML

#16426904
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63195) - you deserved it (3603)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by efff my life. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

#16425645
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (12002)

On 05/30/2011 at 9:59pm - work - by sashimieater - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

#16424088
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29255) - you deserved it (3253)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm - animals - by thiswouldonlyhappentome (woman) - Aruba

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31174) - you deserved it (14385)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

#16395878
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39064) - you deserved it (7289)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29503) - you deserved it (5498)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30957) - you deserved it (2919)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

#16355568
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49311) - you deserved it (3127)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: