About ninjaCarebear : I made this account when I was about 11 so sorry for the horrible name guys.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31661) - you deserved it (16849)
On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2951)
On 05/26/2011 at 3:53am - love - by lovingpsychosis - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39157) - you deserved it (4276)
On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39089) - you deserved it (2165)
On 05/23/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by dumbteacher -
Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (3119)
On 05/23/2011 at 7:58am - kids - by Bad Parent -
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17586) - you deserved it (31049)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (13921)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15755) - you deserved it (24225)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42444) - you deserved it (2875)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (63445) - you deserved it (2811)
On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom
Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (4359)
On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51246) - you deserved it (7802)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, I had to take care of my best friend while she was drunk. This meant changing her pee-soaked sheets, making her take a bath to get all the baby powder off, and making her put clothes on as she tried to run out the house naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (3166)
On 05/21/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33321) - you deserved it (4055)
On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28145) - you deserved it (3567)
On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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