About ninjaCarebear : I made this account when I was about 11 so sorry for the horrible name. I'm on here quite a bit quietly voting in the shadows.
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ninjaCarebear's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Say Cheese / 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Bobby ray slice / 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by The captain / 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by xXangelaXx / 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm / United States / Animals
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML
by Miguel / 08/20/2011 at 3:40pm / United States / Geek
Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 10:08am / United States / Kids
by RensM / 08/20/2011 at 5:54am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/20/2011 at 5:20am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
by Username / 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm / United States / Health
- Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka"… Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which… Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her…