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ninjaCarebear

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ninjaCarebear

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6837
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About ninjaCarebear : I made this account when I was about 11 so sorry for the horrible name. I'm on here quite a bit quietly voting in the shadows.

ninjaCarebear's page activity

Visits<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:21am<b>moophasa</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:23pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 8:54pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 9:48pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:48pm<b>BaconCat5</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:50am<b>FraserAlvisio</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 5:06am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 11:21am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:13pm<b>tbro47</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:55pm<b>eatdaussy69lol</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:10am<b>REALAfroninga</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:59pm<b>junkman6</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:51am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:31pm<b>thechurro</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 2:40am<b>AliceLiddel</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:00pm<b>AlexRen</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:14pm

ninjaCarebear's FML badges

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ninjaCarebear's favorite FMLs

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (3520)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (8995)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (3552)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

#17592588
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26453) - you deserved it (2310)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

#17589852
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40382) - you deserved it (3795)

On 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by candie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
682 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30351) - you deserved it (49402)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

#17588509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32224) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36042) - you deserved it (2596)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

#17577684
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (4560)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by shocked (man) - United States

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

#17565538
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18926) - you deserved it (14834)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Trimacle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37507) - you deserved it (3289)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20089) - you deserved it (53294)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20089) - you deserved it (53294)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

#17557352
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36414) - you deserved it (4564)

On 08/23/2011 at 11:55am - kids - by Username - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

#17549181
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (2772)

On 08/22/2011 at 4:34pm - work - by waytootan (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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