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About ninjaCarebear : I made this account when I was about 11 so sorry for the horrible name. I'm on here quite a bit quietly voting in the shadows.
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Today, I paid a repair man $65 to come to ma ouse and fix ma waser . He walked in, looked at te waser, bent over and removed a large steel bolt wit a brigt red tag sticking out te side saying ( Remove before use . ) He ten looked at me and said ( all fixed . ) FML
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood!! My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside!! Now I'm scared to leave my house!! FML
Today, hile taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on mah head, laughed hysterically, and ran off looool screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT THE ENGINEERS I WORK WITH BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN WITH AN ENGINEERING DEGREE WORKING IN AN ENGINEERING COMPANY IS APPARENTLY EQUIVALENT TO A "SECRETARY FIR ENGINEERS." I AM THAT WOMAN. FML
Today.. . I had a lady come in to order a pizza . She wanted to use a free delivery coupon . After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon.. . unless she was having the pizza delivered.. . she told me I have horrible people skills .
Yesterday, I realized that the place that mah brother and I would find soggy balloon and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitute take their clients. We were blowing up used condom fir a good part of our childhood. FML
yesterday I found out that mah parents used all of the college money I have been saving up 4 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money 4 repairs. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating, an starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, ( Really? ) She replied, ( Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015