About ninjaCarebear : I made this account when I was about 11 so sorry for the horrible name. I'm on here quite a bit quietly voting in the shadows.
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ninjaCarebear's favorite FMLs
Today, I paid a repair man $65 to come to my house and fix my washer. He walked in, looked at the washer, bent over and removed a large steel bolt with a bright red tag sticking out the side saying "Remove before use." He then looked at me and said "all fixed." FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
by jumpedjogger / 09/14/2011 at 4:34am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by notinterested / 09/13/2011 at 6:11am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 1:53am / United Kingdom / Work
by siikman313 / 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by aru9 / 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by OperaLover / 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML
by pea / 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm / United States / Work
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by squeak / 09/12/2011 at 9:52am / United Kingdom (London) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/12/2011 at 4:43am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML
by Me / 09/12/2011 at 3:36am / United States / Money
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/11/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Colorado) / Love