About ninjaCarebear : I made this account when I was about 11 so sorry for the horrible name. I'm on here quite a bit quietly voting in the shadows.
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ninjaCarebear's favorite FMLs
by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
by thatsnotacat / 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
by AshlynnPrime / 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by shut up. / 11/11/2013 at 5:36am / New Zealand / Work
Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2013 at 6:39am / Miscellaneous
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Miscellaneous
by SantaClaus / 11/02/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/28/2013 at 12:51am / United States (California) / Health
by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Ellie / 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML
by lostinspace / 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…