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ninjaCarebear

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ninjaCarebear

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5212
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About ninjaCarebear : I made this account when I was about 11 so sorry for the horrible name. I'm on here quite a bit quietly voting in the shadows.

ninjaCarebear's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:48pm<b>BaconCat5</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:50am<b>FraserAlvisio</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 5:06am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 11:21am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:13pm<b>tbro47</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:55pm<b>eatdaussy69lol</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:10am<b>REALAfroninga</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:59pm<b>junkman6</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:51am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:31pm<b>thechurro</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 2:40am<b>AliceLiddel</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:00pm<b>AlexRen</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:14pm<b>mFUNdo21</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:12pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:12pm<b>barneystinson45</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 2:17pm<b>fifcat</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 2:01pm<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 1:43pm

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ninjaCarebear's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39937) - you deserved it (16662)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51784) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38728) - you deserved it (7049)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

#21187067
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (7325)

On 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by massachusettsan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49193) - you deserved it (5480)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42423) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40522) - you deserved it (6517)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47353) - you deserved it (7209)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (4143)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (52987)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38553) - you deserved it (9186)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55094) - you deserved it (5525)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38342) - you deserved it (8088)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45567) - you deserved it (10251)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84) - you deserved it (18040)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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