Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nikkipettyfer

Online | Search for a member

nikkipettyfer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1592
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About nikkipettyfer : I'm a model at Wilhelmina modeling agency

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>lisaint</b> - 9 hours ago<b>cats54321</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:09pm<b>lexiale</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 7:08pm<b>wowdoge</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:19am<b>19Rachel97</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:19pm<b>PhantomScore</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:22am<b>colby6666</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:14pm<b>gaetan03xx</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:15am<b>AFCCT</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:37pm<b>footbowl</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:08pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:28pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:31pm<b>mixedone223</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:16pm<b>hurryHM</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 4:39pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 4:10pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:28pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:26pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:59am

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46269) - you deserved it (17032)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97999) - you deserved it (11353)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (36925)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51720) - you deserved it (7633)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (45490)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (45186)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51500) - you deserved it (20756)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45352) - you deserved it (3428)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49234) - you deserved it (2808)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

#20751604
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40657) - you deserved it (5185)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78063) - you deserved it (7084)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53430) - you deserved it (7862)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51436) - you deserved it (3669)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57869) - you deserved it (22583)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49393) - you deserved it (3663)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: