Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nikkipettyfer

Online | Search for a member

nikkipettyfer

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1736
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About nikkipettyfer : I'm a model at Wilhelmina modeling agency

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - 5 hours ago<b>OutOfTimeMan</b> - 6 hours ago<b>lailaxjan</b> - 8 hours ago<b>SilverDragon03</b> - 12 hours ago<b>patrickalamo</b> - 12 hours ago<b>HumbleExistence</b> - 12 hours ago<b>vegemute</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Pstraka6</b> - 13 hours ago<b>YTfangirl</b> - 13 hours ago<b>TheAndrewJohnson</b> - 14 hours ago<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - 15 hours ago<b>IspSG</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Tvw</b> - 16 hours ago<b>flufee2</b> - 16 hours ago<b>DonkeyTeeth2013</b> - 16 hours ago<b>CallMeBatman</b> - 17 hours ago<b>dianababe</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Sonjington</b> - 18 hours ago

Liked!<b>IspSG</b> - 10 hours ago<b>robertd73</b> - 16 hours ago<b>mystery_user</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:47pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:35am<b>dave20012</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:05pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:26am

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52602) - you deserved it (8964)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48029) - you deserved it (2763)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (49799)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

#20788139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66675) - you deserved it (3868)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56353) - you deserved it (6675)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50434) - you deserved it (4171)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62476) - you deserved it (10823)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46657) - you deserved it (17170)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98127) - you deserved it (11362)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (36931)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51741) - you deserved it (7635)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (45834)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (45200)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51523) - you deserved it (20762)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45365) - you deserved it (3429)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: