Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nikkipettyfer

Offline (57 minutes ago) | Search for a member

nikkipettyfer

20Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1805
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About nikkipettyfer : I'm a model at Wilhelmina modeling agency

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>Elwin93</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Brino21395</b> - 3 hours ago<b>markees</b> - 8 hours ago<b>TacoSaladsHBD2</b> - 14 hours ago<b>ijulez</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Moreno_1234</b> - yesterday at 4:59am<b>MrCareless</b> - yesterday at 2:22am<b>Alexv572</b> - yesterday at 12:32am<b>aljojoan8910</b> - yesterday at 11:09pm<b>APimpNamedShane</b> - yesterday at 4:06pm<b>roche71190</b> - yesterday at 3:49pm<b>fullerkate3</b> - yesterday at 1:35pm<b>Mike_Sweatpants</b> - yesterday at 10:07am<b>nrwest</b> - yesterday at 8:07am<b>FunkyDrumSticks</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:04am<b>jeesh10</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:55am<b>charliedee</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:46pm

Liked!<b>MrCareless</b> - 23 hours ago<b>jbobs</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:08am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:26pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:25am<b>evo818</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:58am<b>lifted95ram</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:42am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:38am<b>Stazza11</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:09am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:37am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:09am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:28am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:42pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:14pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:58am<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:26pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:47pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:35am

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59667) - you deserved it (7581)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50254) - you deserved it (10637)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

#20813792
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44693) - you deserved it (7395)

On 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by -_____- (woman) - Netherlands

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

#20809869
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (19056)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62317) - you deserved it (5414)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59418) - you deserved it (8842)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58952) - you deserved it (8472)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56125) - you deserved it (9318)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59001) - you deserved it (3912)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58371) - you deserved it (5524)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59946) - you deserved it (7811)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML

#20797604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51574) - you deserved it (3905)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: