nikkipettyfer

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Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 4:29am)

nikkipettyfer

342Fucked!

nikkipettyfer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8997
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About nikkipettyfer : 😈

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 3:00pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:40pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:57am<b>kawayi</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:30pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 2:57pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:29pm<b>tay_arredondo</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 2:15pm<b>KaiwanAvari</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 2:38pm<b>conman317</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:31pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 3:40am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 6:55pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 7:06am<b>anak36</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:11pm<b>jman1324</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 4:51pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 10:58pm<b>lee42789</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 9:08pm<b>Jona400</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 11:25am<b>lungjiao</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:30am

Fucked!<b>masschris</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:53pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 8:08am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 3:19pm<b>mxgirl1998</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:48pm<b>18drakerad</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:19pm<b>mrknowsitall</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:18pm<b>prodigy57271</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:25am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:17am<b>dawood_k</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:57am<b>duduv2</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:18am<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:58am<b>ironhead</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 4:22am<b>Levi32</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:15am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:23pm<b>DakotaEdwards</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:45pm<b>Wiringify</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:29pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:22pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:08pm

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

by puking now / 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

by bella / 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

by eastsiderounder / 12/02/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

by MissDQ / 12/02/2013 at 8:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids