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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5801
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About nikkipettyfer : 😈

nikkipettyfer's page activity

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nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML


I agree, your life sucks (59801) - you deserved it (4324)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (11885)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML


I agree, your life sucks (47596) - you deserved it (4125)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58257) - you deserved it (2700)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21205) - you deserved it (42847)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44270) - you deserved it (3595)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (54480) - you deserved it (7943)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML


I agree, your life sucks (46806) - you deserved it (5339)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42038) - you deserved it (3898)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48667) - you deserved it (5247)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML


I agree, your life sucks (52507) - you deserved it (9227)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55947) - you deserved it (9578)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57472) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

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