Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nikkipettyfer

Online | Search for a member

nikkipettyfer

151Liked!

nikkipettyfernikkipettyfer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4972
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About nikkipettyfer : I'm a model at Wilhelmina modeling agency

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>scottyboy417</b> - 3 hours ago<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - yesterday at 6:38pm<b>Mpineda57</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:16am<b>Hero2457</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:23am<b>ebarton14</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:27am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:38pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:36pm<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:43pm<b>LeBandit</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:50pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:05pm<b>Magnettik</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:26am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:37am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>CRAAAGCFDCRA</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:52am<b>gary8082</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:32am<b>rachelllllb</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:22am<b>aruden</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:56am<b>srgreene09</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:43am

Liked!<b>Mpineda57</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 8:16am<b>ebarton14</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:27am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:11pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:52am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:58pm<b>ninjakitty254</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:17am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:59am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:08am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:33am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:28pm<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 9:27pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:27pm<b>akkianjum</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:23pm<b>thelaughinator</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:37pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:08pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:54am<b>ckeekymontag</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:05am

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53528) - you deserved it (7800)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46758) - you deserved it (5336)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42010) - you deserved it (3895)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46876) - you deserved it (5061)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52452) - you deserved it (9220)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53386) - you deserved it (9127)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56270) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59694) - you deserved it (4553)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48411) - you deserved it (16280)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44576) - you deserved it (7482)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48933) - you deserved it (6395)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35288) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53327) - you deserved it (5394)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27696) - you deserved it (40441)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: