Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nikkipettyfer

Online | Search for a member

nikkipettyfer

103Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3657
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About nikkipettyfer : I'm a model at Wilhelmina modeling agency

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>PrincessCastiel</b> - yesterday at 6:40pm<b>hulkman78</b> - yesterday at 1:32pm<b>RussianQueen</b> - yesterday at 12:57pm<b>anava14</b> - yesterday at 8:40pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 4:51am<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:27am<b>maxisjawesome</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:25am<b>TacoSaladsHBD2</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:28pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Cameronblack0</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:32am<b>vig33</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 6:03pm<b>dustydick</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 5:04pm<b>Vayu</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:31pm<b>zoratheexplora</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:27am<b>hambino7</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:17am<b>xleanne_aLly</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:31pm<b>just7in</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:50pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:49pm

Liked!<b>maxisjawesome</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:17am<b>hambino7</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:17am<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:43pm<b>nournahas</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:56pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:28pm<b>just7in</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:14pm<b>miztahtrini</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:03pm<b>1tag4</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:28am<b>jvfelicio</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:10am<b>SilverZephyr</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:38am<b>bdub42</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:40am<b>daydreamer8</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:29am<b>brn_baby_brn</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:03am<b>Nameless_Fellow</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:56pm<b>myanichole</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:35pm<b>alex_the_tiger</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:24pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:54pm<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 7:51pm

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51732) - you deserved it (7150)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54888) - you deserved it (7213)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50117) - you deserved it (9252)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50412) - you deserved it (4637)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53769) - you deserved it (3384)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50300) - you deserved it (4765)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54746) - you deserved it (3067)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46650) - you deserved it (5139)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48501) - you deserved it (4538)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51055) - you deserved it (5326)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40803) - you deserved it (41406)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41933) - you deserved it (5205)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: