About nikkipettyfer : I'm a model at Wilhelmina modeling agency
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (21609)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13151) - you deserved it (19127)
On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (2131)
On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31004) - you deserved it (3106)
On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16363) - you deserved it (6026)
On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23902) - you deserved it (3033)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (7806)
On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16325) - you deserved it (24002)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45192) - you deserved it (2511)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (2188)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (1741)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by wilks311 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46258) - you deserved it (1823)
On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (14286)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ohfuckwaffles (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29224) - you deserved it (4980)
On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36350) - you deserved it (3149)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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