Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nikkipettyfer

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

nikkipettyfer

135Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4523
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About nikkipettyfer : I'm a model at Wilhelmina modeling agency

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>JayGatsby</b> - 11 hours ago<b>_greatness_10</b> - yesterday at 6:23am<b>Scryll</b> - yesterday at 8:29pm<b>Agua2</b> - yesterday at 7:55pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - yesterday at 6:54pm<b>ckeekymontag</b> - yesterday at 6:05pm<b>dk1991</b> - yesterday at 11:09am<b>akorpija</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:42am<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:20am<b>pankechq</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:50am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:05am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:35pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:57pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:30pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:25pm<b>julianbozikovic</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:49pm

Liked!<b>lolonewsom</b> - yesterday at 12:54am<b>ckeekymontag</b> - yesterday at 12:05am<b>Railworker12</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:46pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:06pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:36pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:29pm<b>NitrousDisaster</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:32pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:58am<b>ReverseCarb</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:19pm<b>Scorpio01</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:55am<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 12:16am<b>jacobchester12</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 12:07am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:30pm<b>sailing_is_life</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:14pm<b>j11a01</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 9:49pm<b>quats17</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:39pm<b>NOTaDISTRACTION</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:04pm<b>saeid323</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 7:54pm

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41889) - you deserved it (9591)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50836) - you deserved it (9303)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48983) - you deserved it (5664)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48334) - you deserved it (17851)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43307) - you deserved it (8234)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49532) - you deserved it (9318)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (39468)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57756) - you deserved it (5793)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49075) - you deserved it (4550)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42423) - you deserved it (21033)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37459) - you deserved it (5212)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (6566)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41018) - you deserved it (3673)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: