Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nikkipettyfer

Online | Search for a member

nikkipettyfer

37Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2026
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About nikkipettyfer : I'm a model at Wilhelmina modeling agency

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>ostark</b> - 12 hours ago<b>jacky75</b> - yesterday at 4:10am<b>colin_624</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:22pm<b>423</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:49pm<b>vreid</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:34pm<b>GuyWhoGetsBanned</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:21am<b>lordkyron</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:30pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:51am<b>gary8082</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:15pm<b>MadLife136</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:38pm<b>its3esa</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:04pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:26pm<b>NateCoopee</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:07pm<b>14huberzb</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:00pm<b>olivetree172</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:56am<b>IrishKelp</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:01am<b>psyjoniz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:38am<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:24am

Liked!<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm<b>yeatesj</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:25pm<b>woainishamu</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:18am<b>c_wyld</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:43am<b>steftriv</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:36am<b>mullfritt</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:51am<b>kunal222</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:46pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:45pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:35pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:29pm<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:05pm<b>Naule</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:43pm<b>K40RU</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:04pm<b>bg18605</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:30am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:30pm<b>lior778</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:08am<b>tallwhiteguy96</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 2:57am<b>MrCareless</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 8:22am

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38822) - you deserved it (3940)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50085) - you deserved it (6933)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53886) - you deserved it (7105)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49058) - you deserved it (9112)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49796) - you deserved it (4563)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53680) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48455) - you deserved it (4573)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53066) - you deserved it (2930)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46590) - you deserved it (5132)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48410) - you deserved it (4530)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50904) - you deserved it (5313)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40745) - you deserved it (41324)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: