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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7251
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About nikkipettyfer : 😈

nikkipettyfer's page activity

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nikkipettyfer's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36075) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML


I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (4658)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32313) - you deserved it (12470)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (39239) - you deserved it (6156)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36156) - you deserved it (3149)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (7332)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by CK95 - United States

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (4328)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42040) - you deserved it (3137)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35190) - you deserved it (4243)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (16407)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (3544)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML


I agree, your life sucks (37354) - you deserved it (3208)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:36pm - misc - by ItGirl - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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