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Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 4:29am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10588
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About nikkipettyfer : 😈

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>badmandilon</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 7:42pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 4:11pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 1:13am<b>bubblemania</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 12:20am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 9:45pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 4:59pm<b>gar2014</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 3:54am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 2:37pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 12:12am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 6:21pm<b>amayraniescobar</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 9:54pm<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 11:43am<b>loganswann</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 7:09am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:00pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:40pm<b>kawayi</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:30pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 2:57pm<b>tay_arredondo</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 2:15pm

Fucked!<b>masschris</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:53pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 8:08am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 3:19pm<b>mxgirl1998</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:48pm<b>18drakerad</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:19pm<b>mrknowsitall</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:18pm<b>prodigy57271</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:25am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:17am<b>dawood_k</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:57am<b>duduv2</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:18am<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:58am<b>ironhead</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 4:22am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:23pm<b>DakotaEdwards</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:45pm<b>Wiringify</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:29pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:22pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:08pm<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:43pm

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

by dammit / 09/12/2015 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my boyfriend thought I was going to ask him if we wanted children together. Instead of talking about it, he pretended to have a violent seizure and die. FML

by tessie94 / 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

by laurencoc / 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

by Wellthisishawkward / 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

by fack / 07/29/2015 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

by Ma_Nikka / 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML

by savannahsboxxx / 07/11/2015 at 8:09am / United States / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

by madisonnkelly / 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

by alison / 07/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

by 1234 / 06/22/2015 at 7:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

by baberuth / 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm / United States / Animals

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids