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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18530) - you deserved it (3434)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33312) - you deserved it (1930)
On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31306) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (16527)
On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14127) - you deserved it (10529)
On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6190) - you deserved it (37931) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (4048)
On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (2437)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27090) - you deserved it (4425)
On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22442) - you deserved it (5322)
On 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lalala - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40967) - you deserved it (5771)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (3106)
On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32103) - you deserved it (17086)
On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States
Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16543) - you deserved it (6589)
On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (27688)
On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Monday 20 May 2013
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