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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (2004)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (3834)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32591) - you deserved it (4225)
On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -
Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36342) - you deserved it (4736)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51871) - you deserved it (3084)
On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52061) - you deserved it (3578)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34914) - you deserved it (4251)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42414) - you deserved it (4724)
On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (34977)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31100) - you deserved it (30618)
On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45192) - you deserved it (3684)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (2726)
On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (60220)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (5712)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53066) - you deserved it (7582)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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