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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6953) - you deserved it (18772)
On 02/06/2011 at 2:37am - money - by 7rafe7 (man) - United States
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11579) - you deserved it (41208)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (6330)
On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (4951)
On 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by nosleep (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29285) - you deserved it (2833)
On 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm - misc - by smbcolorado - United States (Texas)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59848) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (4769)
On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -
Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5449) - you deserved it (51563)
On 02/03/2011 at 1:53pm - work - by parker1993 (man) - United States
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29334) - you deserved it (3419)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)
Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14870) - you deserved it (33235)
On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (7482)
On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38034) - you deserved it (4376)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48163) - you deserved it (5262)
On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4472) - you deserved it (25341)
On 01/27/2011 at 6:20am - work - by GHTD (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I found out that I've been paying student fees for the wrong account. Apparently I have been paying for some other student's tuition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25487) - you deserved it (5549)
On 01/26/2011 at 3:52am - money - by AlreadyInDebt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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