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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
by OMFG I LOVE MLP / 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Love
Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML
by unemployed / 08/24/2012 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Work
by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss reprimanded me in front of the rest of the staff for "not following instructions" because I went to a company meeting. I have the email from him telling me to go to the meeting. He thinks I faked it. Unemployment sucks. FML
by BrokeButSmart / 08/23/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Indiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 4:08pm / United States / Love
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
by Confused / 08/22/2012 at 12:33pm / Spain (Madrid) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by Sexting / 08/21/2012 at 11:29am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML
by spasticock / 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm / Portugal (Setubal) / Miscellaneous
by pridekills / 08/19/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 9:31am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…