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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML
by Joe / 08/27/2012 at 9:33am / United States (Oklahoma) / Work
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
by kvdfan / 08/27/2012 at 8:57am / United States / Love
by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML
by damnit. / 08/26/2012 at 11:13pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML
by unfucked / 08/26/2012 at 7:18pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Tanuki_paws / 08/26/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
by S. / 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by wtf / 08/26/2012 at 1:03am / New Zealand (Southland) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 11:48am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 8:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML
by coolcocoxxx / 08/25/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…