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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy
by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States / Love
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
by TBTC / 08/31/2012 at 3:16am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous
by baconlady / 08/31/2012 at 3:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML
by thatgirl17 / 08/31/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML
by jdch_99 / 08/29/2012 at 9:12am / United States / Health
Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML
by SuzyTurquoiseBlu / 08/29/2012 at 1:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Holly / 08/29/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by anon / 08/29/2012 at 12:52am / United States (Maine) / Money
Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML
by tutusaurus / 08/28/2012 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML
by gotta love my momma / 08/28/2012 at 1:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
- Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead.… Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked… Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's…