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Mobility
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Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (8612)
On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -
Today, I was at the grocery store when an elderly woman walked up to me and said, "Why can't every guy be as handsome as you?" I would have been flattered by the comment, if I was a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (3382)
On 03/15/2011 at 6:35pm - misc - by blk8764 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48128) - you deserved it (4719)
On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China
Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11729) - you deserved it (46209)
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43349) - you deserved it (5134)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9231) - you deserved it (28221)
On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35156) - you deserved it (4295)
On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -
Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30687) - you deserved it (4725)
On 03/08/2011 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (3851)
On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5355) - you deserved it (43567)
On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (20961)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, an old lady hit me with her car. After which she says, "Oh! Not Again!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (1831)
On 02/28/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by roadkill - United States
Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23920) - you deserved it (6954)
On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I went to my first ever high school party with music, drinks, and dancing. Within a few minutes of taking my first ever shot of tequila, I was in the worst pain in my life. My parents were called and I had to be taken to the hospital. I'm alcohol intolerant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (9564)
On 02/27/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by Stormy (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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