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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML
by Elrond Hubbard / 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 2:57am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML
by xoragebaby / 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML
by period_probs / 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by lonesome / 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML
by endure_survive / 12/14/2014 at 10:17pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2014 at 2:19am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML
by driven_crazy / 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/12/2014 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by PyroSam / 12/12/2014 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML
by Che_likes_you / 12/12/2014 at 10:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by well, now what / 12/12/2014 at 9:39am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by anon / 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm / United States (New York) / Kids