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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2015 at 11:12am / United States (California) / Love
by stupid / 05/26/2015 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Money
by anonymousyo / 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm / United States (California) / Love
by transcendingnerd / 04/13/2015 at 6:46am / Philippines (Manila) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
by drewcaver / 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML
by left, I guess / 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 11:42am / Belgium / Health
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by jamisbetter / 04/11/2015 at 8:34am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I went to class to take an important final for which I studied all week long and worked hard in class. Today, the teacher also told us that anyone who had an A did not have to take the final. I missed out on a trip to the Bahamas for this. FML
by callalilley / 04/10/2015 at 12:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by yuckduck / 04/10/2015 at 8:29am / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
by Jakesssss / 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
- Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three… Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started… Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly…