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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
by PerturbedStudent / 12/09/2015 at 6:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was talking to my boss at the end of an awesome internship. He said he was really satisfied with my work, and that he had considered hiring me. Turns out he decided not to because I smile too much and it unnerves him. FML
by Greenskies / 12/09/2015 at 10:26am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Work
Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML
by meg__1798 / 12/08/2015 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my ex, for whom I still have feelings, introduced me to his new girlfriend. To make things "less awkward," he invited a mutual friend of ours. However, the last time I'd seen this friend, it was a week after my ex and I had broke up, and we hooked up. Awkward doesn't cover it. FML
by neverleavingthehouseagain / 12/08/2015 at 6:08pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
by *sigh* / 12/08/2015 at 5:56pm / United Kingdom / Money
by Anonymous / 12/08/2015 at 3:24pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML
by Emma / 12/08/2015 at 12:23pm / United States / Love
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML
by Nile / 12/08/2015 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love
by alexa / 12/08/2015 at 12:14pm / Germany (Bayern) / Love
Today, I found out my husband pretends to be a young, bisexual woman online. As if that isn't bad enough, he flipped out and didn't believe me when I told him the other "young, bisexual women" he's been beating it to are probably middle-aged men too. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML
by Lala / 12/08/2015 at 3:30am / United States (Colorado) / Money
by demideity / 12/08/2015 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by unemployed-dude / 12/08/2015 at 1:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Hormones apparently / 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 9:19am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love