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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by INeedaNewJob / 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm / United States (Washington) / Money
by wtfdad / 11/16/2014 at 12:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by omgdesdes / 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by FuglyBetty / 11/13/2014 at 11:44am / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2014 at 3:03am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML
by The Selfie Parent / 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Kids
by SelfServiced / 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love
by soisblueballsdickhead / 10/26/2014 at 10:25am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2014 at 1:17am / United States / Work
- Today, I have finished reading all 2365 pages of FML. I don't know what's worse. The fact that I'm… Today, I had sex for the first time lying on a deck chair outside of a house party. Just as I reach… Today, as I swung my leg over the baby gate on the stairs my foot decided to make contact with the…