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nihongoso

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nihongoso
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  • Number of visits : 3584
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nihongoso's favorite FMLs

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30437) - you deserved it (8391)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML

#17903490
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23743) - you deserved it (2105)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:18pm - work - by SimpleSwimmer - United States (California)

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

#17893570
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (2669)

On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7877) - you deserved it (37885)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

#17884041
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30843) - you deserved it (4308)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML

#17866876
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9860) - you deserved it (22759)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

#17845036
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20800) - you deserved it (4808)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:14am - health - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

#17842672
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31969) - you deserved it (4604)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by faded as shit - United States

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

#17837953
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8771) - you deserved it (28247)

On 09/26/2011 at 7:46am - money - by Sam - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19783) - you deserved it (1805)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
562 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (15877)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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