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nihongoso

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nihongoso
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nihongoso's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53116) - you deserved it (15702)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my fifteen year old son decided to tell his little five year old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

#20983553
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (6015)

On 12/07/2013 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the girl of my dreams said yes when I asked her out. Our conversation afterward consisted of her telling me "no one can know" and saying she doesn't want to do things normal couples do. I'm basically in the deepest level of the "friendzone": the friendzoned boyfriend. FML

#20983541
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47219) - you deserved it (4275)

On 12/07/2013 at 1:56am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

#20981691
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (6652)

On 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39911) - you deserved it (4261)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you deserved it (10958)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

#20980652
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39472) - you deserved it (9879)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

#20980172
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39390) - you deserved it (2814)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:50am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

#20980160
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41347) - you deserved it (3414)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Broke - United States (Texas)

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35764) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (7044)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (3435)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom said I should start wearing push up bras to make myself look better. I was wearing one when she said that. FML

#20976101
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39466) - you deserved it (3296)

On 11/30/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by flatchested Sam - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51437) - you deserved it (4225)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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