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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML
by anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Alliente / 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm / United States / Love
Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML
by ssydneyy / 07/17/2012 at 3:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML
by theuglyfriend / 07/17/2012 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by dogmom / 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love
Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML
by crazyautio / 07/16/2012 at 12:08am / United States / Work
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML
by SwAGkiLlS / 07/15/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 10:43am / Japan (Tokyo) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML
by anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 1:06am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML
by HellisLikeTheDMV / 07/13/2012 at 11:19am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/13/2012 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…