nihongoso

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nihongoso

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  • Number of visits : 8653
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nihongoso's page activity

Visits<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 5:53pm

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nihongoso's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

by cherknobil / 07/29/2012 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

by daydreamer / 07/29/2012 at 1:12am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML

by feminista / 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML

by anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 9:26am / Lebanon / Transportation

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

by Nikki / 07/27/2012 at 9:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 5:25am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

by LOTRfail / 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML

by PixiXOXO / 07/26/2012 at 2:07pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, I got my laptop back after waiting weeks for it to be fixed. It turns out that they didn't fix it; they dusted it off, held it for a few days, and sent it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 1:02pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

by Just Me / 07/26/2012 at 1:04am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous