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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
by cherknobil / 07/29/2012 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
by daydreamer / 07/29/2012 at 1:12am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by feminista / 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML
by anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 9:26am / Lebanon / Transportation
Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML
by Nikki / 07/27/2012 at 9:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 5:25am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by LOTRfail / 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by PixiXOXO / 07/26/2012 at 2:07pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 1:02pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Just Me / 07/26/2012 at 1:04am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…