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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
by Emily / 08/01/2012 at 1:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy
by joleezad5 / 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
by kaitlyna15 / 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
by 1D-107 / 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm / United States (Utah) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/31/2012 at 12:13pm / United States / Health
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
by TheMissMuffly / 07/31/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by gmd05 / 07/31/2012 at 10:28am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Health
Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
by fmlgrl / 07/30/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML
by skyplaysguitar / 07/30/2012 at 1:56am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML
by oops / 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by kumbuck3t15 / 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by fml / 07/29/2012 at 8:20am / Japan (Saitama) / Kids
- Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm… Today, the same boss that made me cry last week for something that wasn't my fault, flipped a shit… Today, to confirm how accurate the science report on who is most attractive to mosquitos is (blood…