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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML
by mississippi123 / 08/06/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by kklaucen14 / 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by milf / 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
by lils / 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm / United States / Intimacy
by rejected4555 / 08/03/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
by SingleAgain / 08/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML
by DeeGirlMon / 08/03/2012 at 1:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by HappyMan / 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML
by Anonymous / 08/02/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by Kelly / 08/02/2012 at 4:11am / United States (California) / Love
by Unwanted / 08/02/2012 at 2:50am / United States (California) / Work
by wherermypants / 08/02/2012 at 1:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Goblin Girl / 08/01/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him…